Judging

Fast from judging others; feast on the Christ dwelling in them.

When I reflect on this line from Ward's prayer, I am reminded of Olympia Dukakis as

Clairee in Steel Magnolias saying, "Well, as somebody always said, 'if you can't say anything nice about someone, come sit by me!'"  That pretty much sums it up for me too.  I am amused by making judgements about other people.  Don't get me wrong, I am not a cold, callous, or cruel person by nature.  I just like a good gossip!  This, of course, really is the essence of judgement, though, isn't it?

Deciding to talk about someone else as if you really know who they are, how they live, what they represent, or anything about them beyond how they appear in looks, actions, or words.  I tell my kids all the time to "stop being so judgmental" and then I turn around and catch myself in a conversation that smacks every bit as much of critique of another.  What is it that drives that need to judge?  Insecurity? 

Naivety?  Impulsivity?  

All I know is that it is wrong to try and tell another person's story.  We can't truly know it completely and it is not ours to judge.  We must instead look to the Christ within them.  I think this means finding the spark of sacred in every human being created by God and honoring it.  Oh, what a difficult task that is. Honor the creepy guy in the elevator next to me?  The road rager who just flipped me off in the turn lane?  The crazy lady who walks alone downtown?  What about those I love most?  My husband who, after 20 years of marriage, still doesn't do things the way I would like him to?  My friends, who despite my best efforts don't always take my advice?  My kids who sass and fight and push back around every corner?  HONOR those things?  You've got to be kidding!

The Christ dwelling within us is the still, silent soul of every human being, deserving of love, requiring respect, and yearning for kindness and compassion.  We all want to be considered more purely, for who we are, who we REALLY are.  And we can't know that about someone else until we honor their sacred being.  Look to Christ for example and inspiration, and love, LOVE what you trust is inside each of us.  He showed us how to live like that.  Free of judgment, full of grace, and leading with true consideration of each person as they really are.  Perfectly formed, fully loved, and worthy of acceptance.  For this Lenten season, for today, I will try and remember that.  Christ within.  When we meet next, know that I am trying to see you, love you, and I'm giving your sacred soul a big high five!

Fasting and Feasting

A Prayer for Lent:  Fasting and Feasting by William Arthur Ward

Fast from judging others; feast on the Christ dwelling in them.

Fast from emphasis on differences; feast on the unity of life.

Fast from apparent darkness; feast on the reality of light.

Fast from thoughts of illness; feast on the healing power of God.

Fast from discontent; feast on gratitude.

Fast from anger; feast on patience.

Fast from pessimism; feast on optimism.

Fast from worry; feast on divine order.

Fast from complaining; feast on appreciation.

Fast from negatives; feast on affirmatives.

Fast from unrelenting pressures; feast on unceasing prayer.

Fast from hostility; feast on non-resistance.

Fast from bitterness; feast on forgiveness.

Fast from self-concern; feast on compassion for others.

Fast from discouragement; feast on hope.

Fast from lethargy; feast on enthusiasm.

Fast from thoughts that weaken; feast on promises that inspire.

Fast from shadows of sorrow; feast on the sunlight of serenity.

Fast from idle gossip; feast on purposeful silence.

Fast from problems that overwhelm; feast on prayer that sustains.

I am a Christian.  I was raised Catholic.  I became Episcopalian.  
I have always observed the season of Lent in the liturgical calendar.  For 40 days prior to Easter, I commit to being reflective and penitent.  I keep mindful of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice of death for the love and forgiveness of us all.  For me, this has always been marked by tradition.


When I was young, my family practiced the typical "giving up something for Lent".   We were supposed to make a personal sacrifice much like Jesus did. We would pick something to do away with during the 40 days of Lent, to remind us of its significance in our lives.  It could be something as simple as chocolate (killer for kids!) or as pious as swearing (tough for teens!).
Of course, as Catholics, we always gave up meat on Fridays too.  For a few years, we tried instead "giving out for Lent" by drawing the name of a family member who you were then required to do something for.  The idea was to again be reminded of sacrificing for the sake of others and noting their importance in your life.  I remember finding little handmade treasures from my sister and my brother refraining from practicing the latest wrestling hold on me during this time.

In college, my roommate Julie and I would go to church together during Lent.  We were glad to have each other as we entered the dining hall on Ash Wednesday sporting the "dust thou shalt return to" prominently on our foreheads, along with a few other faithful friends.  We joked about giving up beer or staying out of the bars altogether during Lent, but never managed to make that happen.  I think we did keep away from a box of Girl Scout cookies that one of our moms sent one year!  Good for us.

The year I was married, Greg and I tried giving up meat altogether for Lent.  We decided to go vegetarian for the Lord.  We made salads, pasta and stir fry for 40 days and then celebrated Easter with the traditional spiral-cut, glazed cheeseburger and rack-of-sirloin.  No chocolate bunnies or jelly beans that year, just threw a pack of beef jerky and a tube of summer sausage in the old baskets!  What were we thinking?!

This year, in honor of Lent, I'm going to reflect and hopefully write about each line of the above prayer by William Arthur Ward.  Being mindful these days is a lot easier than it used to be and it's a lot more satisfying to give up the hustle and bustle of daily life and spend quiet time.  Age gives you that gift.  Quiet reflection. Fasting and Feasting- can't wait to share with you what I learn.