Superheroes

I can't stop thinking about it.  The Batman premier shooting in Aurora, CO just hit me hard.  It was too close for comfort.  My boys were at the midnight premier here in Rochester on Thursday night, their first time going to a late-night opening show. I patted myself on the back for holding out this long for a midnight premier.  At 14 and 16 years old, it was the perfect summer "boy" activity. Wholesome in that it was keeping them off the streets and out of the hood, sheltered, cool, free of bug bites, happy. The movie itself was full of violence, I'd read, but all that "fantasy" stuff appeals to them.  I warned them it was dark.  "Like we haven't seen dark before, Mom?" they replied with the standard amount of sarcasm.  They were excited as I dropped them at the theater with 5 of their friends.  It made me smile to see the little bit of swagger and smell the lingering Axe body spray in the van as they walked away.  "You're a good mom.", I thought to myself, "You'll get points for this!" I had agreed to pick them all up at 3:00 am. and drove home to snuggle with the dog and read on the couch.

Waking up Friday morning (ok, it was actually closer to noon, but I hadn't gone to bed til 4:00!) to the news of the Aurora tragedy made my stomach drop.  I immediately did that thing we all do in the face of someone else's grief, I sighed in relief for a moment.  It wasn't me or my boys, our town or our grief.  It might have been, I knew.  It so easily could have been, I thought.  So, I said a silent prayer:

"Be with them, dear Lord.  Be with those other moms, in a far-away town, who's kids were there too.  Comfort them as they cling to their last memory of their child, happy and healthy, walking into the movie theater with friends.  Be with those who witnessed the horror, for their lives are forever changed, forever marked by an irrational act of violence.  Be with the families of the victims, hold them close in their anguish, give them comfort and peace.  Show me compassion and understanding, for the young man who committed the heinous crime, certainly, but also for others I am so quick to judge this morning.  Those parents who brought their young children, even babies, to that movie theater;  the people who don't think we need stricter gun control laws;  those who see mental illness as shameful and not worthy of our attention or tax dollars.  I need help to make sense of it all, Heavenly Father."

It seems to me that when terrible things happen, when we feel lost and powerless in the world, we need to make solid choices.  We need to choose understanding, empathy, compassion, and kindness, but we also need something stronger. We need to choose love. As Jo Knowles said recently, "Make love your superpower."  At times like this, we all need a superpower.  We must suspend judgement and try to find the strength to respond with as much love as we can, whatever that may mean.  Whether it is letting the guy with the attitude problem go ahead of you in line, or listening to the annoying sales pitch of the telemarketer, volunteering at a homeless shelter, donating some money, or holding the hand of a hurting friend.  We must go about our days with a renewed sense of empathy and fortified with an arsenal of kindness.  We must wear our cape of compassion in thought, word, and deed.  We must be the superheroes in a weary world and do our best to bring justice and peace upon the planet.  It's what Batman would have done in Aurora and here in Rochester too.  My boys know, they saw the movie.

                                                        Source unknown:  Internet finding

Required Summer Reading

       Dear Samuel and Joseph,

This is the only required summer reading I’m going to request of you.  I wrote it in list format, so as to make it as easy as possible.  Here is what I want you to know at 16 and 14 years old.  Try and remember some of it.  You will be tested on it.  Trust me, you will be tested.

1.     I love you.  Most of what I say to you and do for you comes straight from my heart.  My biggest motivator is LOVE, simply love, and you are my greatest love.  I really hope that you already do know that.

2.     I want you to be happy.   Always look for contentment in what you choose to do, who you choose to be with, and where you choose to be in life.  It’s not always easy to find happiness, and it may take a few tries, but keep it as your goal.  You will find it.  Remember, there is more good than evil in the world.

3.     Trust your instincts.  Do your best. Make good choices. You know what is right.  It’s not always the easiest thing to do.  In fact, sometimes you won’t want to.  Other people will try and convince you otherwise, but stay true to yourself.    Always listen to your first thought and don’t second-guess it.  Follow your own voice and keep your heart in the right place.  You will always know best what is right for you.

4.     Ask for help.  I know Dad and I give you lots of advice.  I know that you don’t always want to hear it.  Seek out advice from other people too.  Ask for opinions to weigh against your own.  Question along the way.  If you don’t know the answer, look harder, dig deeper, and search longer.  Learn from experience and never be afraid to make mistakes. 

5.     Apologize.  If you are wrong, admit it.  Step up and set it to right.  It takes strength to admit mistakes, but you will feel even stronger afterwards.  A brave man accepts his weakness.  It’s much simpler to walk away from failure.  Stand up to it and find another way.  There is always another road to success.

6.     Believe in God and Keep the Faith.  You were raised to know God and the power of faith.  Keep Him in your heart, mind, and on your lips.  Pray often, trust always, and know that there is a greater good.  Go to church.  It’s through practice that your faith strengthens and sustains.

7.     Stay in community and be of service to others.  It really does “take a village” to get through most things in life.  Stay connected to family, friends, teachers, coaches, counselors, colleagues, and neighbors.  We are happiest in communion.  Take good care of those around you.  Lend a helping hand.  Be fair, friendly, ready and reliable.  Be someone’s “go to” guy.  Be respectful and kind to all.

8.     Set high standards for yourself and others.  Make big goals.  Dream big dreams.  Don’t worry about missing the mark or failing.  There are worse things in life.  Pick yourself up and try, try again.  “I think I can” said the Little Engine that Could.  I know you can.  Dad and I will always believe in you.

9.     Figure things out for yourself.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Don’t rely on someone else to do it for you.  Put your mind, heart, and soul into it.  Live with purpose and passion.  If you want it, make it happen.  Do it your way!

10.  You will be fine.  You don’t really need this list from me.  You already have it all inside you.  In your thoughts, words, and actions.  It’s always with you.  I know that. Dad knows that.  YOU know that.  You WILL be fine.  But, please, wear sunscreen, just in case. 

xoxo,

Mom